Friday, February 10, 2012

Finding Patience

People tell me all the time that I have a lot of patience and that I do not appear stressed. I usually laugh because I often feel stressed out or I feel like I am about to lose it.
The key is when you are feeling those negative feelings you have to have a way to release them to the Universe... not on your children or spouse. You also should know its totally normal!

My first "Peace" of advice is to have a place in your home that you can go to, so you can gather yourself when you feel like you are about to lose it. This place should bring you a Peaceful feeling, a feeling of calmness.
My place is my bathroom. If I feel my skin getting warm from frustration or if I am yelling or if I just need a quick meditation, I go there. I give myself at least five minutes to get it together (if you have small children make sure they are safe first). I take slow steady breaths. I chant or recite a Mantra. I do a few Yoga poses. I read the Bible or something else Spiritual and uplifting. When finished you will feel relaxed and less stressed and you can deal with the children and "life issues" better.

My next "Peace" of advice is to pick your battles.
My sister in law once told me"girl don't sweat the small stuff" and that has always stuck with me and I use that advice in a lot of situations. When it comes to the children, I do not get upset over spilled milk! Literally. I know within that same day the children will probably do something a lot worse, so I have to save my energy for that! If someone is having a disagreement I let them try to work it out before I get involved thus avoiding their situation becoming my stress.  I do listen, just in case I am needed but most likely they will work it out on their own. If one of them breaks something I do not yell (well when my favorite cup got broken I did yell!!) I kiss them and tell them "its okay... just an accident".

Lastly, get some help. Moms cannot do everything all on our own. My husband is a great support system and carries a lot of my burdens when it comes to our family.  It wasn't always like that... he had to be trained(without him knowing he was in training of course!!) He folds clothes, washes dishes and helps to clean the house. Because he works a lot, I do not get his help all the time but when I do, I appreciate him even more. We compliment each other well.
If you are not married or your husband has not been "trained"(wink and joking)  yet, join a support group, have a freind or parent help or hire someone but you NEED the help. Very imperative. Having the help allows for us not to feel ovewhelmed thus helping us be patient when parenting becomes hard.
Good luck and find your inner Peace... it is the gateway to Patience.

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